We always hear"the rules" from the female
side.Now here are the rules from themale
side.1. Men ARE not mind readers.2.
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no,we are
never going to think of it thatway.3. Crying
is blackmail.4. Ask for what you want. Let
us beclear on this one: Subtle hints donot
work! Strong hints do not work!Obvious
hints do not work! Just sayit!5. Yes and No
are perfectlyAcceptable answers to almost
everyquestion.6. Come to us with a
problem only Ifyou want help solving it.
That'swhat we do. Sympathy is what
yourgirlfriends are for.7. A headache that
lasts for 17months is a problem. See a
doctor.8. Anything we said 6 months ago
isinadmissible in an argument. In fact,all
comments become null and voidafter 7
Days.9. If you won't dress like
theVictoria's Secret girls, don't Expectus to
act like soap opera guys..10. If something
we said can beinterpret in two ways and
one of theways makes you sad or angry,
wemeant the other one.11. You can either
ask us to dosomething Or tell us how you
wantit done. Not both. If you alreadyknow
best how to do it, just do ityourself.12.
Whenever possible , Please saywhatever
you have to say duringcommercials.13.
Christopher Columbus did NOTneed
directions and neither do we.14. ALL men
see in only 16 colors,like Windows default
settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
Acolor. Pumpkin is also a fruit. Wehave no
idea what mauve is.15. If we ask what is
wrong and yousay "nothing," We will act
likenothing's wrong. We know you arelying,
but it is just not worth thehassle.16. If you
ask a question you don'twant an answer
to, Expect an answeryou don't want to
hear.17. Don't ask us what we're
thinkingabout unless you are prepared
todiscuss such topics as football, cars,bikes
or games18. You have enough clothes.19.
You have too many shoes.20. Thank you
for reading this. Yes, Iknow, I have to
sleep on the couchtonight; But did you
know menreally don't mind that? It's
likecamping.
STD 7 LOVER SENDS THISROMANTIC
LETTER TO HERUNIVERSITY BOYFIE...
Waaah! Hallomy lover. Since that day we
leftedeach other at the maize shamba
ofyour family. I am missing u very muchin
the night I cannot sleep even small.Am
also work very much in school togo to
anivarsity like you so that youare not
defeet me alot in clever.Please never leaf
me deer because ifyou left me i can drink
medicine anddie or enter a river. When
you comebring me a baika and perfume so
iknow u love me or you are playing forme.
Let me not write many becausewords are
grass but let me tell youmany boys are
wanting me but amnot like them I want
you alone.Goodbye my lover. From your
wifecheptoo
A NICE COPY AND PASTE1. Your shoes are
the first thingpeople subconsciously notice
aboutyou. Wear nice shoes.2. If you sit for
more than 11 hoursa day, there's a 50%
chance you'lldie within the next 3 years3.
There are at least 6 people in theworld
who look exactly like you.There's a 9%
chance that you'llmeet one of them in your
lifetime.4. Sleeping without a pillow
reducesback pain and keeps your
spinestronger.5. A person’s height is
determinedby their father, and their
weight isdetermined by their mother.6. If
a part of your body "fallsasleep",you can
almost always "wake it up"by shaking your
head.7. There are three things the
humanbrain cannot resist noticing -
Food,attractive people and danger8. Right-
handed people tend tochew food on their
right side9. Putting dry tea bags in gym
bagsor smelly shoes will absorb
theunpleasant odour.10. According to
Albert Einstein, ifhoney bees were to
disappear fromearth, humans would be
dead within4 years.11. There are so many
kind ofapples, that if you ate a new
oneeveryday, it would take over 20 yearsto
try them all.12. You can survive without
eatingfor weeks, but you will only live
11days without sleeping.13. People who
laugh a lot arehealthier than those who
don’t.14. Laziness and inactivity kills justas
many people as smoking.15. A human
brain has a capacity tostore 5 times as
much information asWikipedia16. Our brain
uses same amountpower as 10-watt light
bulb!!17. Our body gives enough heat in30
mins to boil 1.5 litres of water!!18. The
Ovum egg is the largest celland the sperm
is the smallest cell !!19. Stomach acid
(conc. HCl) isstrong enough to dissolve
razorblades!!20. SMILE. It is the
ultimateantidepressant
Six Laughs:No1A man was so jealous of his
newly bornbaby that he put poison on the
wife'snipples while she was asleep.The
nextday, their driver died of
poisoning.********************
******************No2A man is dying
of cancer, but keeps tellingpeople he is
dying of AIDS. His son askedDad why?He
answered, so that when I amdead, no one
will sleep with your mum.***********
***************************No3A
lady lost three panties in her house
andblamed her maid in front of the
husband.Maid said sir you are my witness
youknow I never wear panties.*******
*****************************N
o4Couple is having a quickie and their 6
yearold catches them,Son: "What are
youdoing?" Ask the son. Father: "I’m
puttingpetrol on your Mom."Son: "Haauu -
Haauu! Which means Mom’s engine
istaking too much petrol cause Mr
Zwanehas put in yesterday." Mother
fainted!**********************
****************No5A man went to
the pub with hiswife.When he left for the
counter to buydrinks a prostitute
approached his wife &whispered:"You
must DEMAND cashbefore sex, I know him
he doesn't pay.***********
***************************No6 -
ClassicAn 8 year old boy is accused of
rape*.Incourt his lady lawyer holds his dick
out asevidence saying, "Your honour see
this,can he rape* with this tiny tot?The
boywhispers, "Don't shake it, we'll lose
thecase!" ***************
***********************
FAMOUS KENYAN POLICE QUOTES 1.the
injured were taken to the hospital where
the doctors fought for their lives... 2.the
vehicle was burnt to recognition 3.the
victim was shot dead, he is now recovering
at the hospital... 4.the vehicle rolled down
killing all the 8passengers who were on
board, 3 of them survived and were taken
to the hospital... 5.the police managed to
kill 5 out of the 4 terrorists... 6.the driver
of the bus died on the spot while
undergoing treatment..
Hehehe I just had to share this
Name:kyalo musyoka
School:sengani pri.
class:5
composition
Topic :My family
My family has many people. My
father, my mother, my sister,my sister,my
sister another, me and brother who
follows me.
The one who is old is called kasiva
but she beat us and say we call her tresi.
she has started seein her seof from wen
she wented to secondary school.
The other sister is mwende and that
another is mbula.Both two of them are of
std 6.
Mwende is the one who is old infront of
mbula but she returnd class 6 again.
Iam the one following mbula. my
name is kyalo. other hours my father call
me grandfather in kikamba.
I feel many pain because my grandfather
was called and I rememba him. my
grandmother was called early when I was
not borne.
Then the one who follows me is
kyengo. he is small boy and has not
started to go.
it is now he is teaching himseof to talk
and beats alot of noise which I refuse to
know what he say. the house of my father
arrrives their.
Carolyne Jerotich
A few questions for those castigating
His Excellency Hon. Governor Isaac
Rutto on his statement yesterday;
1. Isn't it true that Ruto is like any
other politician and not above the
rest as alleged by Isaac?
2. Isn't it true that Ruto seeks to
belittle rift valley county
governments by using sycophants?
3. Isn't it true that there are
sycophants utilized by Ruto to
spearhead his political manouvres?
The times when opposing a Kenyan
leader is long gone, and the
sycophants who turned up today in
that anti-Isaac press briefing should
be living about 20 or so years
backwards.
